I don’t believe that we succeed or fail, I think mostly people settle. They settle for what they are good at, for what others expect of them or what is safe and comfortable, while at the same time committing themselves to playing a small game, feeling unfulfilled, maybe even being regretful and disconnected. This becomes an enduring habit and to some extent it is self-inflicted. The bottom line is they weren’t brave enough to go after the things that mattered to them.
You might say ‘So what, it’s their choice’, but a couple of things happen here. Firstly, we lower the collective potential for change and happiness in the world. Energy is lower, more negative, resistance is greater, it is more difficult to be expansive and make change. I know the energy workers, healers and therapists get this – and that doesn’t mean you are exempt from it. For the rest of you, think about your home after a fight with the kids, or work when a key individual is in a bad mood – everyone is affected by the atmosphere. This is the kind of energy that when created on a large scale is destructive to our collective wellbeing.
Secondly, at an individual level, I believe we are all here with a purpose, a contribution to make, and it doesn’t matter what that is, what matters is that we are brave enough to we live it. When you play small or safe game your dreams, desires and passions don’t go away, they rattle around in your subconscious reminding you of what you might do one day, or what you could have been, or even how inadequate you are because you didn’t follow your dream. It’s ok though, because you get very good at conning yourself, making excuses, about why the time was wrong, the circumstances were not right, it was someone else’s fault, you didn’t want to let anyone down. Well, guess what? By letting yourself down, by not being brave enough to do the stuff that matters to you, you let everyone else down too. You set a poor example to those who look up to you, you fail to live the life you want – however scary that feels, and you breed dissatisfaction.
So why do I care, why am I writing such a potentially alienating blog? If I’ve made you feel prickled, angry or guilty then I’m glad, because you have identified you are, in some way, playing smaller than you want. If you think I’m talking rubbish and you are resisting what I say, you too may be settling for less than you want.
I care because the world needs all of our contributions, big or small, global or local. We all make a difference to someone or something. I care because none of us deserves to feel lost, unfulfilled or inadequate in our own lives, and I care because it really doesn’t need to be this way.
We all have experiences, battle stories, and wounds and they shape who we become and where we go in life, but we make a choice about whether they make us stronger or how much they damage us. We make a choice about whether we take time to heal, learn what we need to learn and keep travelling or whether we live our struggle over and over.
I care because stepping up, being brave about the things that matter to you is easier than people think. You start with the thing you have most influence over and work from there, you trust yourself to do good and be enough – because you are, and know that everybody’s small difference compounded has a huge impact on the world.
When you start it becomes easier to find people who believe in what you believe, who are in your corner, able to support you and you them.