by Lynda Holt
Well ok, technically there is, but not when it comes to running a business – you might be a sole trader, solopreneur, or freelancer – this doesn’t mean you work in isolation. Increasingly, business structures and roles are becoming more fluid, people have more than one line of accountability and smaller businesses regularly work with individuals and teams they don’t directly employ.
It is this last group I most want to talk about. Connection is key to human existence and this includes in our work lives. There is plenty of emerging research (Seppla 2012) that shows emotional well-being, physical health and life satisfaction are all enhanced by strong social connection. So how do you first identify who is really in your team, and second, ensure you create strong social connections within your team – especially if you work remotely from each other.
If you are a small business with no direct employees it’s likely your team will vary in size and membership depending on what you are working on. There are likely to be a few consistent people though, and they might not be that obvious. In the context of connection – and not being a one man band – your team includes anyone who impacts your business, your decision making and who has influence over what happens with your business, and yes, I’d include family members, friends, clients and mentors in this group; as well as your accountant, people you outsource to, use as freelancers or work as a freelancer for. All of these people can impact on how your business performs and how you feel about work. For all of you who said you work for yourself so that you don’t have to manage people – I’m sorry. You may not have to line manage, but we all manage the people around us to some degree.
This more fluid management comes down to basic human connection, how you show up, how clear you are about what you need and how prepared you are to listen to what others need. Human connection is mostly about belonging, an innate survival strategy for many species including humans. To maintain connection, people often strive to fit in at the expense of really belonging, this in turn causes internal incongruences, dissatisfaction and even stress. If you are wondering what the difference is, fitting in is where you moderate your behaviour and attitudes to be accepted as part of a group and belonging is where you feel accepted for being who you already are. The sort of connection that enhances wellbeing – and business success, is one where members feel they belong, are accepted for who they are and can contribute without fear of personal rejection, (even if that specific contribution is rejected)
How do you make this happen?
There are four key influences on effective social connection:
- Work with the right people – it can be very tempting to just pick people you like, people who are like you or people who won’t question you too much. This is not your dream team! Work with people who share your values, believe in your goal, and who have different skills to you. These people will challenge and question, not to be difficult, but because the outcome matters to them too, they belong on the mission.
- Clarity – there are many clarities needed when it comes to working with others, especially if you are working remotely. The most important is that everyone involved understands the mission, the stakes and their role in it. It is also important you know your team members on a personal level. I don’t mean you have to be down the pub or in each other’s houses every five minutes, but you do need to know about each other. You need to be clear about what motivates them, what is going on for them, what makes them vulnerable and what allows them to flourish. Social time is important for connection even when you are remote, do things like having a coffee break together over video calls, meet up face to face from time to time if possible. Most of us under communicate – this this can be disastrous for clarity, especially remote and fluid teams, it can be very easy to feel disconnected or out of the loop. As the ‘manager’ it’s your role to ensure people stay included and connected.
- Use technology to enhance connection – I’ve mentioned video conferencing above – if you work remotely it is one of your best friends, even if people feel a little wary to begin with. It is the next best thing to face to face as far as connection goes – most humans have a visual preference when it comes to communication. They feel better able to understand, to empathise and to stay safe when they can see the other person or people. There are many other tools for project management, messaging, tracking customer journeys all of which help your business stay more connected. The important thing here is that you pick a couple or three things, ensure all involved know how to use them and what is expected of them, then use them consistently.
- Accountability – sounds like a no brainer, but it’s amazing how often things are just left in the ether in the hope someone will deliver on the task. Setting expectations for your virtual team is important. It creates clarity, it gives people freedom to act. Most freelancers, service professionals and remote workers chose that path for similar reasons, one of which is freedom over micro management. Clear expectation works both ways, it also enables you to keep people on track and on time.
None of us can run our businesses without other people – whether they are our clients, our families supporting us or actual team members. It is worth putting in the effort up front to create genuine social connection with the people involved in your business. When they belong, they are bought into your mission, there is a level of mutual respect that enables all parties to show up, contribute their best and even mess up occasionally. These are the people who will go the extra mile if needed, who will have your back and who will stay connected even in tough times. It’s on you to build these teams and create connection.
If you want a practice, or feel like you may need a bit of social connection yourself, join Braver Business the Facebook community for business owners, creatives and entrepreneurs who are brave enough to show up and do what that believe in.
by Lynda Holt
Accountability is huge for small business owners, entrepreneurs and freelancers that I speak to. It’s also a double edged sword. Many people muddle accountability with rules, loss of freedom, and obligation – for some the exact opposite of why they went into business for themselves.
In my view, clarity and accountability go hand in hand. If you are not clear about what you want to achieve, where you are going and how you are going to get there, it is very difficult to hold yourself – or anyone else, accountable for progress or lack thereof. Yet lack of clarity is one of the most common things I see in small business clients – and some not so small businesses, for that matter.
Without accountability you are free to go with the flow, to set your own direction to do stuff on your own terms – all things many business owners relish and state as reasons for going into business in the first place. You are also free to procrastinate, under deliver, miss deadlines, forget stuff, make excuses and a whole lot of other stuff that makes life as a business owner so much harder than it needs to be.
The thing is, when it’s your business, your livelihood – as well as that of your family & your employees, if you have them, you are it – ultimately the buck stops with you. That can be a heavy burden to bear alone – especially when you are wedded to a vision of freedom and pleasing yourself. It is no coincidence that one of the major selling points for mastermind groups and online forums is accountability – it genuinely can be hard to go it alone.
There are three parts to accountability and all are equally important –
- Mindset – This is probably the most talked about and the least practised. Most of us are very good at making excuses for ourselves when we are scared or don’t want to do something. This retrofit reality doesn’t serve you. If you find yourself making an excuse for your actions, inactions, procrastinations etc. stop and look at why. What is really going on: are you scared, do you lack knowledge, is something misaligned with your values? There will almost always be an emotional trigger and it’s only by understanding that trigger that you can decide whether to act differently or not. Holding yourself accountable for your mindset is not the same as giving the voice in your head free reign, in fact it’s the opposite. It is questioning the stories you are telling yourself, deciding whether they are helpful or holding you back. Just think, if you took the action you really wanted to take instead of making an excuse how much closer to your dreams would you be? And finally, learn to deal with not getting what you want – don’t waste time making excuses, blaming others and wallowing in self pity – you can only control how you respond to stuff not what actually happens to you.
- Clarity – If you are not absolutely clear about what you want it’s hard to set goals, involve others and follow up on outcomes. Clarity is the first pillar of a brave business; without it you are destined to wander around in the wilderness. Clarity allows you to involve others, whether it is to help you to be accountable or to work with you, or to buy from you. My number one rule for any new project is get clear – get clear about what we want to achieve and get clear about what we are prepared to do and not prepared to do to make that happen. This enables two things. First, we get clear about goals, targets and aspirations and measures of progress & success we can be held to account for. Second we can delegate. Successful delegation is a whole blog in itself – and something that comes up frequently for some of our larger clients as well. Here are the highlights:
- Be clear about the outcome you want?
- Be clear about what you are delegating – the task, responsibility for outcome, accountability for outcome?
- Ensure the person / people you are delegating to have the skills to undertake the thing you have asked of them.
- Be clear about how / when you are available for questions, feedback, sign off etc. depending on the degree to which you have delegated
- Tell people what you need but not how to do it – in other words delegate, don’t micro manage.
- Structure – This is really about skills and systems, and it’s easy to learn. How many times have you been derailed by something that appears to come from left field and needs all of your attention, or something that becomes more urgent than it is important because you have put it off for so long? Structure prevents this. Structure removes the chaos that imprisons you, kills your creativity – and reduces your potential for success. Structure creates the freedom and the ability to do things on your own terms that so many business owners crave. As a, mostly, reformed chaotic I’ve learned this the hard way! Here are a few simple structures that help you stay accountable without feeling constrained.
- Stay compliant – it’s hard to miss GDPR at the moment, and changes in legislation will demand your attention from time to time. Here I’m really talking about the regular stuff that happens in your business every year, every quarter, every month, things like tax returns, VAT, accounts, monthly obligations that may not be automated, stuff that needs to stay current like insurances and professional obligations like indemnity and CPD if it is relevant to your business. A dated reminder system will prevent the last minute derailing I so often hear of.
- Create realistic to do lists – maybe the top three things you need to do and stick to them
- Set reminders – give yourself headspace to concentrate on what you are doing without the risk of forgetting important things or even dwelling too long on one thing at the expense of other tasks.
- Set goals, measurable targets and deadlines for all crucial activities and projects – especially if it only involves you!
- Get comfortable asking for what you want – if you don’t know, no-one else can help you – even if you are paying them to! Asking for help is a bit like delegating, get clear first then ask others if they can help you achieve.
- Have accountability meetings – it would be fair to say this is easier with a leadership team / board, an ‘accountability buddy’, a mentor or coach or a mastermind group, but don’t ignore this if you prefer to work alone – meet with yourself! Set time aside to honestly review what’s working, what’s not and what needs to happen next. Then do the same for others involved in your team and people who you have delegated to.
If you don’t get accountable to yourself and to your business you risk drifting, getting stuck or being caught in a storm too often. Accountability is a habit like so much else in our lives, and creating, changing or consolidating any habit can feel like hard work at the beginning. Take each of the above steps in turn and look at where you may need to change your habits.
Remember – lack of accountability fuels your excuses, frustrations and lack of progress.
by Lynda Holt
Last week I talked about vulnerability in my online class.
It struck me prior to this class that we are often taught to find the pain or vulnerability in our potential clients and market to that. We are taught to start by helping to associate people into their pain – then tell them how you will help solve that problem. Done well it undoubtedly works, whether it is the right thing for the person on the receiving end or not.
So, this is where I start to p**s off many people who train speakers; tell you they will grow your business 10x; teach you to build funnels, sales pages, trip wires that convert like crazy. Most of them demonstrate the technique perfectly while exposing your pain, your weaknesses at selling yourself, speaking, converting to sales, and if you are cringing right now because that’s you, I’m sorry. Here’s the thing, this method gets results, good results, results which convert to many sales if it is done well. How many times have you bought a course, a coaching session etc. that you neither needed or used because you got caught up in the moment? Not just me then!
Ethics aside, the trouble with this approach is that most people don’t do it well, most people don’t spend years learning and perfecting their techniques, most people grab hold of a formula and try to make what they do fit. At the same time, they feel uncomfortable – either because they don’t know the formula too well or it doesn’t really fit with how they like to show up, or worse, it has them doing the very things they hate in others.
The result – it damages you. You look insincere or incongruous. I’m not exaggerating – your integrity is at stake here. If people are getting mixed messages, whether that’s in person, on video or in writing, they will not trust you, they will not believe in what you are selling or even saying. If it doesn’t feel right – don’t do it!
I am not saying that selling, marketing and promoting yourself is wrong or bad or even icky – it is essential. Essential, if you want to connect with your audience, your potential clients and your existing clients. What is also essential is that you connect in a manner that is honest and real for you. This, by the way, is not the same as natural and easy, you are still putting your stuff out there, you are still risking rejection, ridicule even. The difference is that you are doing it from a position of strength, of belief – if not quite in yourself yet, belief in the need for what you do, the value it brings and the way it helps people.
The power of vulnerability in business is in your vulnerability – not your clients’ vulnerability. When you can get real, when you can share what you believe, why what you do matters, how it is part of your bigger story, then people can connect with you as a human being, they are attracted by shared values, by your vision, and by a sense of belonging, of feeling genuinely understood. They know you can help them. And you, you get to stand in your own truth, and to attract exactly the people you can best serve – the same ones that are likely to be the easiest to work with and who get the most benefit from what you offer.
I see vulnerability as a real strength, there are so many things you can’t do without an element of being vulnerable. You can’t try anything new, you can’t say no, you can’t stand up for stuff you believe in, you can’t risk being different – without vulnerability you are destined to settle for the safe, the familiar, the groove you’ve already carved for yourself, probably at great personal cost.
Vulnerability allows you to grow, to take risks, to stand up for what you believe in – it’s not about being weak or needy. Most importantly, vulnerability is real, we all feel it sometimes. When you share yours appropriately for the situation and audience, of course, people will connect with you.
Genuine, honest vulnerability keeps you real and I’d say it has just as powerful an impact on people, as the scenario I described at the beginning, just that you get to keep your integrity and reputation.
Do you love what I’ve said or hate it and totally disagree with me – I’d love to hear your views in the comments below.
by Lynda Holt
I’m writing this following my recent business retreat in the Artic Circle – I’m warm, snug and hauled up in my office at home. For all business owners and leaders, space and time to just be is critically important. I believe much of our real growth comes from conscious, and sometimes unconscious, introspection. If we bounce from one thing to the next to the next – whether work or pure fun – we don’t actually have time to consolidate what we take from each experience. Do this for long enough and one of two things happen; either you become overwhelmed or you become an adrenaline junkie. Neither are sustainable, but worse, both risk your ability to really connect with what is happening around you and within your business.
Connection is one of the five pillars of a brave business. Without connection you risk extinction – both as a business and as a human being. Put simply: we do not and are not designed to function in isolation. In this context, connection has three layers:
- Being connected with yourself, your purpose, your values. The stuff that is absolutely true to you.
- Being connected with the people that you want to do business with, the people that help you in business, and the people who support you within your friends and family. In short, other human beings you are connected to with your business in mind
- Being connected to the planet, as part of an eco-system, as part of a bigger structure than you. This means how you interact, what impact you have, what you depend on, and what impacts on you from a broader environmental perspective.
It is this third one, being connected to the planet, that has been really brought home to me while I was up in the Arctic Circle. It is one of the few places on the planet that if you don’t pay attention to your surroundings, if you don’t pay attention to what’s going on with the environment around you, you could quite literally find yourself in a position where your actual life is in danger.
We went snowmobiling whilst there. When we set off it was -26c and as we got deeper into the forest and the mountains, the snow closed in making navigation increasingly difficult – thankfully we had Mikko, our fabulous instructor and guide, with us who has been connected to that land for generations ensuring our safe passage.
You know, it’s such a privilege to be in nature, to be awed by its power and to experience that feeling of real connection to the planet; it is hugely important. It reminded me that as a business you don’t exist in isolation. As a business, you have to work with the elements that you find yourself in, the surroundings that you’re in, and with the infrastructure that you have. And, there is always a way of doing that.
Kiruna, the town I was based in, is a great example of this. It is actually very isolated, especially in the winter, both by its terrain and its weather – yet its two main streams of revenue are mining (about 75%) and tourism (about 20%). In simple terms it has developed its own eco system. Despite the mining, the air’s really clean, the water’s really clean and, when they’re not frozen, people drink from the rivers. In the winter they build with ice blocks from the rivers, and all the food is locally sourced – sustainable, organic food. You know, it’s just such a clean, eco infrastructure.
You need to think about this in the context of your business. How do you get to have that kind of a sustainable, repeatable, clean way of running your business? I’m not just talking about being ‘eco’ here. I’m talking about how you streamline your operations, your business, to make sure that you’ve created something that fits with the environment that you are in. By this I mean it’s easy to get the resources that you need, and that you are contributing back with those resources – this might be in terms of sales and service, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be making a charitable or pro-bono contribution. It means you do something that enhances the eco system you are working in. That flow makes business sustainable, fun, easy; all those things that are really important if you’re going to invest such a huge chunk of your life into your business.
In the Braver Business group, this week is all about connection. To help members stay brave about the action they take in their business, we regularly roll through the five pillars of brave business. If you’d like to join in with this week’s connection challenge spend some time thinking about your business’s eco system and answer the following questions:
- What does that system look like?
- What role does your business play in that system?
- What do you rely on to make your contribution?
- What value do you contribute?
Once you have answered these questions you will have an idea of your flow in relation to the system you operate in, what’s great and where you may need to focus more attention or make changes to ensure sustainability.
If you’d like to join the Braver Business group and share some of your findings join here
by Lynda Holt
In the wake of the Business Show we are just digesting what we learned and what delegates believe is really troubling small business owners right now. This is as well as following up on conversations individually with people we met and talked to during the two days, of course.
Two things really struck me from the conversations we had – firstly, people really liked our stand because it was different, that was a great conversation starter and secondly, people felt it was inviting and friendly, and that we were interested in them, not just trying to give away leaflets or info.
For me it is these conversations that make it worth us going to the big shows and expos. We are there to learn from and connect with people. Sure, it’s a great place to showcase what we do, but at the end of the day unless we have made a connection and given people a reason to stay in touch we are largely wasting our time.
Which brings me nicely back to what did we learn? There were a few things that came up in conversation over and over, and while they are not surprising, they are certainly worth paying attention to. Connection was a real biggy, and it showed up in a number of ways.
- Being connected to what you do, that for most of us business is not just about want we do. It’s about why, what drives us, what really matters – in other words once you get past a basic survival level it’s not just about making money, it’s about purpose and feeling you are connected to something bigger than you.
- This was just as stark when talking about choosing who you do business with, we want to feel connected. Who are the people in the business and do we connect with them at a base values level? Does it feel right, do they fit with what they believe. It was interesting here how many people talked about wandering around the exhibition being ‘pounced on’ by exhibitors – people launching into ‘this is what I do’ conversations without first engaging in any kind of rapport building. I have to say this is also true of people walking around the exhibition trying to sell their services to exhibitors, (a pet hate of mine).
- Feeling disconnected – many people said they struggled to feel like they belong in the small business world. At the beginning, you set up, get all excited about what you’re doing and the difference you’ll make, you maybe even have a rush of great clients / customers. Then you start to realise it’s down to you, and often just you. The business world is full of competitors, people selling this, that and the next thing to increase your revenue tenfold, get you a six or seven figure business etc. It’s noisy, confusing and not necessarily what you believe is right, hence the disconnection and perceived lack of belonging.
I believe that, in this loud and fast paced world, many of us are striving for connection, we want to belong, but not necessarily to conform. We want to connect but not necessarily compete. We want to contribute but are afraid of being ridiculed, or worse, ostracised. It sounds obvious, I know, but as a species, humans are connected beings, we are stronger together. I also believe we are more disconnected than we have been in many decades. Each one of us needs to help the world become more connected again, and we do this by taking the time to know those you do business with, by sharing some of yourself – even if it makes you feel vulnerable. By looking for common ground, and by being prepared to move on if something does not fit with your values and sense of self. This way not only does the world get more connected but we each feel more connected, less lonely, more able to do what we do.
If you need a place to start look at where you feel like you belong now, look at where you feel you don’t belong and compare – somewhere in there are the specifics that help you to be more connected. Have fun, explore and be brave enough to take the right action for you. If you like Brave Scene and what we are about do join the Brave community
by Lynda Holt
This morning I opened my Linked In messages to find 14 new messages – 2 from people I know well, 5 from people who have been connections for a while and message me every couple of months to tell me about there products and 8 from new connections who’s first contact with me is to try to sell me something. One even said ‘without my help your business will fail’ – I’d love to know what crystal ball he’s looking in.
On a more serious note though, in my mind social platforms – including LinkedIn, are about building connection, developing relationships and sharing good, helpful, value led stuff. They are not about connecting with as many randon people – especially those with plenty of connections, then flogging the guts out of your product and service, while at the same time destroying any potential relationships you might be building.
Does this mean I’m some fluffy coach who thinks selling is evil? Not at all, I have made money through LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook. I sell stuff to people I first connected with on social platforms and I’ve even employed someone after building a relationship onLinkedIn. I have one guiding principle though, which is value first. Very few people actually like being sold at – by this I mean the unsolicited pitch that pops up in your messages – and this applies to all social platforms. I’m not talking about sales conversations after you have built a relationship, or established that the other party might be interested in what you have.
I guess what I’m saying here is if you want to use social media to grow your business – and there’s nothing wrong with that, use it for what its best for, engaging people in what you believe and what you do, expanding your reach and credibility, building relationships and getting to know interesting people.
If you do connect with me, connect because I am useful to you, you are interested in me or my business or because you may have something that I need, then take the time to get to know me. That way I may finish up doing business with you, I may recommend you to my network, or connect you with someone I know. Don’t look at my profile and think – target market or has lots of connection, and definitely don’t follow up my acceptance or your request with a sales pitch.
I’m sure I’m not alone in opening LinkedIn or messenger with a sinking feeling when I see 12 sales pitches.
Lets change this, lets get really connected with each other.
by Lynda Holt
We all know people who can just walk into a room and own it. People pay attention to them, they might want to be noticed by them – or hidden from them depending on the circumstances. The mood, energy and attitude of these people impacts the room. They are the rapport leaders – for good or bad, they influence how others behave, interact and even what they think. These people are connected energetically, they are noticeable, they have a presence.
When we look at the constructs of our society it is geared towards needing to stand out, needing to be heard and to have an impact – and that is certainly true for business owners. In short, we are geared towards valuing extrovert behaviours.
We see this in the workplace, in schools, in many social clubs and certainly at parties – outgoing, sociable people, ones with lots of friends, ones who ’know’ lots of people. All are considered more noticeable. According to Susan Cain, in her book ‘Quiet’ this happens to an extent that people with more introverted tendencies fear they are at a disadvantage or even ashamed of their quiet natures, and somehow less worthy. She talks about society’s bias towards extroversion and how many introverts feel that in order to progress they need to develop more extrovert styles. She also points out that somewhere between a third and a half of the population favour introversion as their natural style, and by denying the value of this we are reducing the connectedness, the creativity of society, we risk losing some of the great talents that lie within introverts who cannot express themselves in this noisy world.
Let’s be honest though, introvert/extrovert/ambivert – we all need to have an impact, and we all need to have that impact in a way that suits our style, personality and values – in other words we need to be real and show up as ourselves.
Wherever you sit on the introvert/extrovert spectrum there are challenges and wins for you when we get down to presence. And for most of us we have a natural preference, but move backwards and forwards along the introvert/extrovert spectrum depending on the circumstances that we find ourselves in.
Let’s look at extroverts first – you find it easy to walk into the room and seek attention, you like being in the spotlight, you have something to say, you’re on form and you easily tune in and engage with people around you, you carry the conversation on and on and never tire.
But, and it’s a big but, if you are not given that attention you are quite likely to crumple quickly, feel insecure, try harder to get noticed and probably be more inclined to talk about yourself and your accomplishments, not listen too closely to what others are saying and as a result not engage very well. People around you may tire of you your tales and your Duracell bunny style energy.
We need extrovert behaviour in business to get the conversations going, to start the exchange of creativity, to hold the energy for the room sometimes – just note this is extrovert behaviours, any one of us can learn and adopt these.
If you are an introvert then all I’ve just mentioned forms part of your worst nightmare. You are much more likely to listen, not get your point across, or not even be noticed, while at the same time finding the whole affair exhausting. You’d much rather slink into a quiet corner and have a conversation with one or two like-minded people.
We need introvert behaviours – that quiet introspection, to step back from group think, to allow individual creativity and revelations, which can be later developed or refined by a group. We need leaders who listen and are driven by what they believe is right, and not just a desire for the limelight – and again these introvert behaviours can be learned by any of us.
Of course, these are two extremes and as I said before you are most likely to move around the spectrum with a whole range of learned behaviours that allow you to function reasonably well in situations which are not your preference.
So, let’s come back to having a presence, being that person who owns the room – and just to be clear this is about authenticity, being real. It is not about being an introvert or extrovert, it’s about understanding what behaviours you can step into to have the impact you need to have in any given situation.
I believe there are three things that enable you to show up with conviction – confidence, position and clarity.
Confidence – understanding what value you bring to the table
Position – where are you coming from, what do you know, what do you need to share, what is your opinion.
Clarity – where are the lines, what are you prepared to do or not do in support of this thing or issue, what are your personal values around it?
And your answer to those three questions will vary depending on the circumstances, the issues, and how important a given topic is to you – and that’s ok.
The final piece of work around presence is self-management – and again what you need to do is both circumstantial and dependent on your introvert/extrovert tendencies.
Story, communication and energy all impact on your presence and with some planning and some attention they are all controllable.
Check in on the stories you tell yourself. Do they drive you to greatness or are they holding you back? Where might you need to do some work on your stories (or excuses) in order to achieve what you need to achieve?
Communication – be yourself, if you are not shouty, rah, rah – then don’t try to be. You’ll feel odd, look fake and lose impact. By the same token if you have something to say, say it, your way. If you are more dramatic then go for impact – be yourself.
Here’s the thing with communication, particularly when you really need to make an impact, practice and precision matter. Plan beforehand – even if you prefer to wing it! Know what you want to say and how you want to say it – then practice. This will make you more confident, more able to find a rapport with the people, and more able to lead the conversation in a connected way.
Energy – your energy is a huge part of your presence so control it. Use your physical presence to reinforce your message, not to undo it. Remember, actions speak louder than words – ensure your body language supports what you are saying. And ensure your mood or state does not undermine your impact. In short, think about the energy you are spreading and ensure it matches what you want the people you are with to feel.
We covered a lot her. Fundamentally, presence – or owning a room – is about paying attention, being true to yourself and who you are, while at the same time being mindful of what people need from you. It is about being able to connect, to share energy, and to move people with your courage and conviction. Personality type is not an excuse, or a cop out – it is a vehicle for understanding behaviour and how to show up in a congruent but powerful way, whether you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert.
So go have some fun with this, pay attention to what you do currently and where you could be more impactful, then practice.
Thank you for reading, if you’d like more insights like this, join the Brave Scene community.
by Lynda Holt
We all have the most amazing piece of kit at our disposal, it’s with us all the time, capable of running complex software, handling masses of information and operating 24/7 – it’s the ultimate super computer – I’m talking about your brain!
I meet people all the time who are frantically chasing success – many of whom have not actually stopped long enough to define what success means to them. Even though many of these people know how to do the things they perceive will make them successful, few actually get round to doing them.
The brutal reality is that only the minority of people find the success they are looking for – the majority settle for what they know they can do. I believe this is down to the relationship you have with your brain.
Fundamentally, your brain hates change, it likes to create patterns – neuro pathways, kind of like high speed railways – no stops and A – B in the least time possible.
To enable this to happen, your brain takes any given stimuli and attempts to fit it into something already known – in effect it does a search & find on all the files in its memory and throws up the closest results, and most of the time this is perfectly good & an uber efficient way of dealing with the massive amount of data inputted every second.
Where it goes wrong is when the info has been slightly misfiled in the first place. You attach an emotional response or even a whole story to a specific stimuli and then create a behavioural response to that stimuli which may not serve you – it may not even be true.
I often talk about this as the squatter in your brain – your self-talk feeding the memory bank often with misfiled information. The trouble is, it can be very easy to focus on your self-talk, its active, quite literally, in your head and for many people consistent.
The challenge is that energy is directed to whatever we are focused on and that’s great if we are focused on what we want or are aiming to achieve.
Because your brain’s primary job is to keep us safe / alive, then most often your default focus is on what you don’t want, your fears and your limitations. Guess what, your energy goes on what you don’t want.
Your self-talk – the squatter – feeds on this energy, consuming it and leaving us less able to do the stuff that matters to us.
So ask yourself two questions:
- What regularly occupies space in your mind?
- In this where you want to focus your energy?
Kicking out the squatter takes a bit of up front conscious effort and focus, but is well worth it. Your brain is quite capable of changing its neural fast tracks, or building a new network. Essentially, anything your brain is repeatedly confronted with, it will rapidly learn, adapt to and make sense of the unexpected circumstances to create new patterns. This is called neuroplasticity.
When you’re a child or adolescent, when you are new in a place or role, feeling out of your depth is almost a daily occurrence – it becomes a familiar state and your brain knows how to adapt.
As you get older and more settled, you often have more choice about what you do and operate to easy comfortable familiar things. Those you believe you are good at. They take the least amount of cognitive effort.
The down side though is when you do the same stuff and stay in your comfort zone, your brain doesn’t have to work as hard – tasks are unchallenging and repetitive. It shrinks, loses versatility. it is always running the same patterns. This of course leaves more room for the squatter!
For most of human existence in history that was just fine, but the world has changed since the industrial revolution, the pace of change is increasing due to changes noticed from generation to generation, in health, in what we could do.
By the 20th century, technology made a significant difference to speed of change.
And in the 21st century the digital revolution has changed the world – 4 exabytes of new info in 2012 (that’s 4 billion billion new pieces of info created in a single year – more per year than in the 5000 preceding years of humanity).
Fast innovation has also changed how we socialise. We live in a much more info cluttered and noisy environment and as such have to adapt, but also protect ourselves from the complacency of old patterns and habits.
New things – new skills, don’t always come easy.
They need practice, a bit of dedicated time committed to them, until they become familiar – in other words we have created new neural pathways for them.
It is through consistently challenging your brain with new things, new environments, new tasks that you can recreate the learning environment your brain was used to when you were a child. This is how we continue to expand our thinking, develop new knowledge and hone our skills.
It’s more than just new knowledge though. The stories we tell ourselves play a big part. Even as a child we are influenced by those who matter to us: parents, teachers, siblings. We start to shape what we believe we are good at and what we are not. Most of us then gravitate to areas we do well and do more of that widening the perceived good/bad gap because we are focused on developing the good.
You’d be surprised how many business owners I work with who proudly tell me they don’t ‘do’ maths – they’ve never been any good at it! Many are shocked when I say get good at it then – you can’t run a successful business without understanding the numbers! I do of course help people to understand where their story came from – if it’s really true, or just an excuse – and I help them to understand the maths they need for their business, put into context what it means.
So how do you kick out the squatter?
- Pay attention to how you feel & react
- Do one thing at a time
- Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want
- Practice
- Keep track of what works
And finally just know that an active, challenged brain is much healthier, more responsive and more likely to keep you sharp in your later years than one which has developed its set patterns and routines and stayed with them.
If you want to stay active and challenged in business, join us in the Brave Scene community.
by Lynda Holt
You wouldn’t go out and buy a truck load of shoes without first testing out what sells, what’s in the other shops, what the profit margins are etc, etc. Yet when it comes to service business it seems we have gone ‘product’ mad. So much time and effort is consumed by designing and creating programmes, digital products, courses frequently with little or no consumer research.
Stop!
Before you put hours of your time and money into your next big thing, do your homework. Create a minimum viable product and test out the market.
According to Eric Ries, (Lean Startup Movement), a minimum viable product (MVP) is a version of your product which allows you to collect the maximum amount of validated learning about customers with the least effort. This means before you go all out, you create a kind of prototype for your new thing. This enables you to check out what customers actually like, what they will pay for, what doesn’t work as well before you commit too much to the product.
In my view, this is a great way for creatives and entrepreneurs to work – build the first one, then tinker about based on feedback and experience to create something better, more desirable and hopefully more profitable. It really suits those who tend to be a tad impatient, who have an idea and want it actioned yesterday, as well as those prepared to put in the time to refine and test.
Most importantly an MVP gets your idea into reality, it gives you that all important customer feedback without you spending weeks developing and refining something that nobody wants.
Sometimes the MVP is actually a concept – not a fully developed product. Dropbox is a good example of this, when they first started – once they had some early sign ups (but no product), they created a video explaining what dropbox did, how it worked and gave a full list of features & functionality. Their sign ups for the service went from 5,000 to 75,000 in 24hrs – convincing them that the product was viable and worth the development time.
Currently, online courses, ebooks and other digital products are booming – not just in traditional training setting, but accountancy, law, design, and this is of course led by an increase in digital consumption.
But just because you can make a product (digital or physical) doesn’t mean you should.
Before you get caught up in the product trap answer the following questions:
- Does it fit with my goals, business model and direction?
- Does it excite me?
- Are my audience consuming this type of information in the way I am proposing to deliver it?
- Does it meet a currently unmet need?
- Do I have (or have access to) the knowledge, time & financial resource needed to do this?
Still with me?
Then chances are an MVP is your next step. Here’s how to get started.
Get your ideas out of your head, on paper, on post its, pictures whatever works best for you. Then organise them into how they form your ‘product’ and decide what is the minimum you can do to still give your client a good experience and test out what is working. Remember the purpose of this is not to be the ultimate bells & whistles version, it is the get something out there and see if it flies version. Yes, keep it congruent with your brand and values, but don’t spend months developing something before you have the necessary market research.
As soon as you have decided to test an MVP start talking about it, raise some interest. And when you start to share it with client, be sure you have some effective feedback systems in place to learn about their experiences, likes and dislikes and therefore refine your main product.
Remember, most successful business owners don’t just dive into the market with a high cost, highly refined product they have several iterations and refine as they go – a bit like software upgrades.
We’d love to know what you’re up to and how you might have used MVP’s
by Lynda Holt
I’m not a marketing expert, especially when it comes to the technical how to’s, but I am an engaged amateur.
What do I mean by that? As a business owner, direction setter and guide for others, I pay very keen attention to what appears to be working and what is not, what is appreciated and moaned about by people in my business community, social circle and wider contacts. This informs what I do and don’t do in my own business, and equally importantly, how I guide and support my clients. For me, a guiding principle with my marketing is if it feels too pushy or ‘salesy’ it probably is, marketing is really about connection, engagement and service. It is a vehicle for you to build trust, congruence and likeability.
I’ve noticed three key things so far in 2017
1. Authenticity matters more than ever in marketing – ok it’s not a new trend, but people are getting more savvy, they are more exposed to fake authenticity and they see through it. Be yourself, for goodness sake tell the truth, and stand up for what you believe in your marketing – people want real!
2. Marketing is getting increasingly micro – this isn’t just about creating a deep niche, it’s about people being fed up with mass marketing. They crave connection in a noisy busy world, and they follow people and businesses with whom they feel an affinity, that the business or person gets them and can help them in some way. They want to feel like they belong, and are valued.
3. For the most part the sell or call to action is much softer – I’m not saying hard sell high volume doesn’t work, it does – both 1:1 and one to many. Marketing, however, is not about the sale, it’s about building cohesive brand, sharing it and creating a real presence in the places your potential community hangs out. Increasingly marketing is content driven, and the call to action relates to the content. It might not be something that directly benefits the author (or company doing the marketing), it is just as likely to be something that benefits the reader only.
So what does this mean for small businesses?
In simple terms, it means you have the opportunity to get really strategic about your marketing. Yes, you show off what you do best, what you like to talk about and most importantly, your story and purpose; but you also need to be clear about the journey you want to take people on and what do you need them to understand about you, your brand and your offering.
This means really understanding things from your client’s perspective – what is causing them headaches, irritation, frustration and pain and how
This journey is about connection, developing trust and familiarity, so share your expertise and both expose and cover off potential objections or reservations people may have about working with you, or buying your products.
Like most journeys, your marketing needs to take people somewhere, even if it is softer than some of the launch campaigns or blast marketing we have seen in recent years. So, when designing your strategy be clear about where you want to take people – it might be awareness and community building, it might be a high volume launch or high cost sale, the road map for each may be different, but the experience of the journey, the feeling, the connection and the sense of being in the right place needs to be consistent.
In 2017, my advice is have some fun and be yourself in your marketing, at the same time be clear about what it is for and what you need to achieve.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments about this.
by Lynda Holt
When I started out I didn’t think of myself as an entrepreneur, a business guru – I was just a nurse who got fed up with the politics, the time away from her family and so set up on her own. Except that nurse was the national lead for emergency nursing, had a multi million-pound budget and over a 100 staff from a variety of professional backgrounds.
That nurse had her first business at 16, – I was an Avon Lady!!
Although I didn’t think of it as a business at the time, being an Avon Lady funded my college life. Instead of being proud and selling to my friends – many of whom bought Avon in those days – I felt ashamed; that I’d be laughed at. So I kept it a secret, none of my friends knew (my baggage, not theirs by the way).
I worked out that where I lived there were a lot of older women who didn’t necessarily want to go to the make up counters, but they did want to look good. I took the time, built relationships and got to know the sorts of things they each liked and didn’t like. I did really well out of my ‘patch’ and provided a great service. I think some of my most important selling lessons were learned here – not that I realised that at the time.
1. Listen: you can’t keep banging on a woman’s door and putting makeup or toiletries in front of her unless you know what suits her, what makes her feel good and what she is interested in. If you do, the door will soon stop opening. The only way to find out these things is listening. This applies to all business, online and offline: if you are not relevant your clients will move on. The only way you stay relevant is by listening to what they have to say.
2. Respect: know your clients. Don’t call at mealtimes, the kids bedtimes or the weekend. Ask when it is convenient and follow their lead. Obviously there is a balance to strike here. You need to have control over when you work and when you don’t. I’m not suggesting you are at the beck and call of your clients, I am suggesting you create the boundaries – when you are available and when you are not and if you respect them chances are they will respect you too.
3. Make a difference: know where you can show up consistently and make a difference. So ok, we’re talking about makeup here, I wasn’t changing the world, but I was, in a small way, changing the worlds of my clients. I was providing something I believed made a difference to them. For my clients it was convenient, non-threatening and financially safe (Avon had a 100% satisfaction guarantee back then). It was also a place I felt safe, not comfort zone safe, I still had to go out and sell the stuff; but safe that I could help these women, they didn’t intimidate me in a way selling to people my own age would have done.
4. Authenticity: there’s a big difference between feeling you’re on a steep learning curve, or not quite ready for what you are taking on and feeling a complete hypocrite. With my ladies I was on a learning curve, not a business one as it happened, a personal one about my self worth, You see it would have been just too intimidating to sell to people my age, I wasn’t cool, I didn’t wear much makeup myself (if any), I wasn’t even into fashion particularly, so to talk to people who were fairly consumed by looks, fashion, makeup etc was a step to far for me. When you look at who you prefer to work with, consider where you do your best stuff, where you can be yourself, and just focus on what you are doing. Trying to be something or someone you are not is exhausting.
My days as an Avon Lady were about so much more than the money. They gave me confidence, a sense of worth, a feeling of achievement. I often think I got more from my clients than they did from me and I will always be grateful for the metaphorical lifeline that role gave me at a time when I really needed it.
However hard something seems, if you want it to work all you really need to do is start and then refine along the journey. What do you need to start?
by Lynda Holt
We have regulations around unsolicited sales call and emails, but conversations are a whole different ball game. Have you ever been networking, with genuine intention of meeting and building relationships only to find people just want to sell to you? Yeah, me too, frustrating isn’t it?
Last week I was speaking at an event where we also had an exhibition stand.
I love exhibitions because it gives you a real chance to chat to people, find out about them and test out your ideas, while hopefully starting to build relationships. I am constantly surprised by the number of people who arrive at these shows expecting to sell to exhibitors – they go round the show dishing out leaflets, going on to stands and transmitting their sales pitch, without invitation and usually to the wrong person. This is not a rant about people who do that, more a reminder of how easy sales conversations can be if you actually have a conversation!
I believe one of the reasons my team do so well at exhibitions is because we take the time to listen to delegates, we ask them about themselves, what they do, what they are struggling with or interested in long before we start talking about what we do. Why? Because it enables us to engage with them in a way that is valuable to them, relevant to them and hopefully moves our relationship forward, not necessarily just to a sale, but we start to get to know a bit about each other. This is just as important for us as the exhibitor. We are effectively qualifying people for our services, where are they in their journey, what would be the most appropriate next step – if any for them, and how ready they are to take a next step. All of this enables us to make the most useful suggestions for next steps, a sign up to something digital, a copy of my book, a one to one call to explore further.
This exhibition strategy is taken from our sales model which put simply is
Ask – Tell – Ask
Ask – first to discover and meet them where they are. So if the person is someone you are conversing with for the first time, ask a bit about them, why they do what they do etc. If you know them slightly better, move straight to problems, challenges and aspirations. In this conversation people will tell you how you can help them, what they might be prepared to buy, and how to position what you are selling. All you actually have to do is listen carefully and ask some quality questions.
Tell – them how you can help to solve their problem or get them nearer to the aspiration, making sure you reflect back their language and way of describing things – not imposing your own to fit your product or service. Be clear about what you can do, what it entails from them – input, time & cost for example. It’s key here you give people enough information for them to make a decision.
Ask – for the business! You would be surprised how many people forget (or ignore) this key step, usually because they feely ‘icky’ about asking for a sale. If you don’t you are kind of left with an awkward silence where the potential customer is expected to take the lead – if they don’t, you have no sale.
This simple method enables you to drive the conversation. Listening enables you to offer the best advice, the right next step and gives you a much greater chance of closing the deal. So next time you are tempted to babble out your sales pitch at anyone who will listen – willingly or not, STOP.
Get out of your own head, your own self-consciousness, and think about the other person. What might they need? Then have a conversation.
by Lynda Holt
Self-confidence is like a muscle – the more you use it the better it performs. The caveat is that if you over use or abuse it you will cause harm. It is fair to say confidence, like muscle, is built up by doing stuff – training, taking action, and pushing yourself to do that bit more. Confidence is not developed by sitting on the sofa and thinking about things.
Yet a lot of the time thinking about things is where we start and stop.
We have an idea, or identify something that needs to be done in our business, then we think ourselves out of taking action. This is, in part, because our brain’s primary purpose is to keep us safe, it works to maintain the status quo and avoid harm. Great if you are trying to avoid mortal danger, but not so good when you are looking for the confidence to get out of a rut – commonly known as your comfort zone.
Self-confidence, or the lack of it, is complex – it is often a result of beliefs, past experiences, expectations and life habits. The good news is it mostly exists in your head, your version of reality, created by the stories you tell yourself. It can be summed up as your trust in your own abilities, qualities and judgments.
For most people there are areas of life you feel confident and areas you feel less so. The great news is that just like driving a car, self-confidence is learned behaviour. At the beginning there’s so much to remember, to co-ordinate, to do, just to make the car run smoothly and to give the appearance of being able to drive. Confidence is the same, and just like driving, the idea is to create muscle memory and new neural pathways by repeating the same actions until they become habitual.
When you’ve been driving a while you don’t consciously think about co-ordinating your foot movements on the clutch with your hand movements on the gear stick, it just happens – you have created unconscious neural pathways that link actions. In situations where you feel confident you don’t think about how you are standing, whether you are making eye contact, whether others will like you – you just get on with what ever you are doing, your unconscious takes care of the rest.
The journey to unconscious confidence is one of practice and repetition, yet for many people the practice and repetition creates exactly the opposite of confidence. This is because they dwell on things that went wrong, bits of themselves they are not happy with and perceptions about what others might think. At best, this enables them to create a reality that allows them to settle for what they know they can do, where they are safe and unchallenged. More typically it creates a reality of constant self-criticism, undermining and dissatisfaction.
Practice and repetition has to be empowering, it needs to build the muscle memory and neural pathways that move you in the direction of what you want achieve, what matters to you. This requires some objectives, a training plan and specifically measuring and celebrating success.
For most of people this also involves breaking some old habits, rewriting some of the stories you tell yourself, and most of all shaking yourself out of your comfort zone and saying SETTLING IS NOT ENOUGH!
by Lynda Holt
How often have you set out on one path and ended up somewhere totally different? I know I have, and there are usually two reasons. Either, I’ve been distracted by something more interesting (or ‘urgent’) along the way, or, I was unclear about where I was going in the first place.
If you are truly going to fly in the direction of your dreams you need three things: firstly to know where you want to go, secondly to be able to make the right impact in the right places to get you there, and thirdly be prepared to take the action needed to actually fly.
As a parent one of the (many) things I’m proud of is that my son is brave enough to go for his dream – lets face it, most parents want their children to be happy, healthy and successful at the stuff that matters to them; yet we don’t always lead by example, do we? How about if we treated ourselves with the same love, compassion and nurturing we give to our children? How much more likely would we be to fly in the direction of our dreams?
Even when you are clear about what you are aiming for it can be very easy to get distracted. I believe this happens predominantly because of fear, and you can pick your particular favourite from a long list – not good enough, failure, looking silly, seeming cocky, getting things wrong etc. etc. Suddenly, seemingly urgent stuff is more important than your dream, even if it is clearing out your inbox!
Yet, if you knew how to make the right impact, in the right place, it is suddenly a whole lot easier to take that all-important action. So here’s my recipe for making the right impact, in the right place in a consistent manner.
It starts with you, being aware of how you show up and the impact you have. What you do and how you behave in one part of your life is likely to transcend the rest of your life. Put very simply, your brain creates patterns and responses that become your habitual behaviours, unconscious gestures, expressions, and responses that enhance or undermine your impact.
Step One – Pay attention to how you show up, how you behave when you feel relaxed & happy, how you behave when you are less confident or comfortable and how you behave when you feel threatened, undermined or inadequate in some way. How do people react to you in those circumstances? You may need to pay focussed attention on this to get these answers.
Step Two – Do you like what you see? What works for you and gets you the collaboration, support, engagement or adoration you are looking for? It is likely there will be some patterns that work better than others.
Step Three – Take responsibility. Commonly, behaviours are replicated because they are getting us the results we think we want. That’s great if they also have the impact we want to have on other people involved. Too often though, we adopt behaviours for the immediate result not the long-term impact. Think about when you have a squabble with someone you love – do you go for the devastating killer blow – that one thing you know will floor them, whether it is true or not? Do you fight fair only with relevant facts? Do you concede even if you believe you’re right – you just want the fight over. What is the impact of your behaviour on you and on the person you squabbled with? Was it worth it?
Other common examples include: playing the victim – you might get short term help but with a long term impression about your capabilities, or holding a pity party every time you go out with your friends – they might join you but does anyone actually benefit from it? Being domineering– you might get short term results because people are too scared not to do what you want, or don’t want to get on the wrong side of you but are they truly committed to collaborate and work with you?
In taking responsibility for the way you show up you are really looking for those behaviours that get you short-term results and leave the long-term impact you want.
Look for areas where you feel genuinely confident, you get good results and interaction with others flows best for you.
Step Four – Get really clear about what works for you and replicate it in the areas you want to make a positive lasting impact. The more consistently you do something, well the more confident you become about how you show up best, and guess what? That behaviour becomes easier and more natural when applied to other situations in place of less effective behaviours.
The impact we have on people and situations is completely within our control – even when the circumstances are not. We chose how we show up, how we react and what impact we have as a result. I’m not saying it’s always easy, but it is our choice. Decide how you want people to see you then develop a set of behaviours consistent with that vision.
What impact do you need to make to fly in the direction of your dreams?
by Lynda Holt
I don’t believe that we succeed or fail, I think mostly people settle. They settle for what they are good at, for what others expect of them or what is safe and comfortable, while at the same time committing themselves to playing a small game, feeling unfulfilled, maybe even being regretful and disconnected. This becomes an enduring habit and to some extent it is self-inflicted. The bottom line is they weren’t brave enough to go after the things that mattered to them.
You might say ‘So what, it’s their choice’, but a couple of things happen here. Firstly, we lower the collective potential for change and happiness in the world. Energy is lower, more negative, resistance is greater, it is more difficult to be expansive and make change. I know the energy workers, healers and therapists get this – and that doesn’t mean you are exempt from it. For the rest of you, think about your home after a fight with the kids, or work when a key individual is in a bad mood – everyone is affected by the atmosphere. This is the kind of energy that when created on a large scale is destructive to our collective wellbeing.
Secondly, at an individual level, I believe we are all here with a purpose, a contribution to make, and it doesn’t matter what that is, what matters is that we are brave enough to we live it. When you play small or safe game your dreams, desires and passions don’t go away, they rattle around in your subconscious reminding you of what you might do one day, or what you could have been, or even how inadequate you are because you didn’t follow your dream. It’s ok though, because you get very good at conning yourself, making excuses, about why the time was wrong, the circumstances were not right, it was someone else’s fault, you didn’t want to let anyone down. Well, guess what? By letting yourself down, by not being brave enough to do the stuff that matters to you, you let everyone else down too. You set a poor example to those who look up to you, you fail to live the life you want – however scary that feels, and you breed dissatisfaction.
So why do I care, why am I writing such a potentially alienating blog? If I’ve made you feel prickled, angry or guilty then I’m glad, because you have identified you are, in some way, playing smaller than you want. If you think I’m talking rubbish and you are resisting what I say, you too may be settling for less than you want.
I care because the world needs all of our contributions, big or small, global or local. We all make a difference to someone or something. I care because none of us deserves to feel lost, unfulfilled or inadequate in our own lives, and I care because it really doesn’t need to be this way.
We all have experiences, battle stories, and wounds and they shape who we become and where we go in life, but we make a choice about whether they make us stronger or how much they damage us. We make a choice about whether we take time to heal, learn what we need to learn and keep travelling or whether we live our struggle over and over.
I care because stepping up, being brave about the things that matter to you is easier than people think. You start with the thing you have most influence over and work from there, you trust yourself to do good and be enough – because you are, and know that everybody’s small difference compounded has a huge impact on the world.
When you start it becomes easier to find people who believe in what you believe, who are in your corner, able to support you and you them.
Be brave and make 2017 your year.
If you would like to be part of the Brave Scene online community join us here
Recent Comments